Top Valentine Tips

Here is a rundown of the best Valentine’s Day ideas. Since Geoffrey Chaucer the legendry writer invented Valentine’s Day in the early 1800’s it has now become a commercial tradition with a growing industry year on year. So here are the nation’s top Valentine tips to make your day unforgettable.

First you have to really get in to the psyche of women to understand what they really want, independence, success and to feel special. But what does that mean when it comes to planning that all important day, well let’s break it down they want to feel special so we have to make the day all about them from the moment they wake until they finally fall asleep in a post sex coma. Success and independence come hand in hand; they have to come out on top in every event of the day no matter how small, and making it seem like the won fair and square.

The perfect Valentine day plan should start by having a lay in, that’s right by letting her get up first she has already made her first win of the day and it gives her a chance to use the bathroom clean it up and cook your breakfast. You’ve allowed her to successfully and independently cook a nice breakfast making her feel special and good about herself. When you finally stir from your pit don’t wash or get dressed this will allow her to feel more beautiful and let her appreciate her own fresh fragrance building self confidence. Promptly pour you self a bowl or cornflakes without touching whatever she has made for you to let her enjoy more of her own delicious cooking. Then ask her to nip to the shops and grab some wine and beer and all the bits you need to make a homemade curry as you’re not felling too good (a little white lie), looking after you will make her feel good about herself, righteous and superior, she really will be going from win to win. While she’s out don’t do the dishes or any tidying up just go back to bed or play on the Xbox for a bit, this will keep her busy when she gets back and we all know a busy beaver is a happy beaver and we all like a happy beaver if you know what I mean. Don’t for get to lay on thick how tired and shit you feel making her appreciate her own good health and then as it's getting close to dinner time let her know that you’re really looking forward to eating the special romantic curry she’s cooking for you while you nip to the bookies to put on a line, again giving her the independence she desires to be classed as an equal in the relationship. While you’re out nip to the pub for a couple of pints to give her time to set the table and pluck anything that needs plucking. When you get home half cut she will know she is going to get some very easily if she can keep you awake long enough so tell her to stick dinner in the fridge because you had a kebab on the way home so she can take you straight up to the bedroom to get what she really wants, a perfect end to a perfect Valentine’s day. Alternatively if you have not been together long you could always dump her the night before via a facebook wall post giving her the feeling she was better than you along and the exciting buzz of a fresh start. Happy Valentine’s Day.